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End of the World (tm)--2017 Edition


A Christian conspiracy theorist, David Meade, says the End of the World(tm) will occur on September 23, 2017, based on biblical passages and codes, a “date marker” hidden in the great pyramids of Giza and the total solar eclipse this last August. Meade says a planet called Nibiru will pass Earth and cause volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and tsunamis. Astronomers, whom I believe more than David Meade, say no such planet exists, and they would be able to detect such a large body well in advance of any near encounter with Earth.

So when September 23, 2017 passes without apocalypse, it will be just one more End of the World(tm) I have survived. The others:

  • December 21, 2012—According to certain New Age beliefs, the Mayan calendar forecasted the End of the World(tm) on that date. In fact, archeologists say the Mayans never considered their calendar to have anything to do with end times. From the National Geographic:

During the 2012 winter solstice, time runs out on the current era of the Long Count calendar, which began at what the Maya saw as the dawn of the last creation period: August 11, 3114 B.C. The Maya wrote that date, which preceded their civilization by thousands of years, as Day Zero, or 13.0.0.0.0.

In December 2012 the lengthy era ends and the complicated, cyclical calendar will roll over again to Day Zero, beginning another enormous cycle.

In other words, the Mayan calendar resets like the odometer on a car going from 99999.9 to 00000.0. But the End of the World(tm)? It seems the Mayans didn't think so.

  • May 21, 2011—Judgement Day and Rapture. Harold Camping, leader of Family World Radio Worldwide, predicted Judgment Day would take place on May 21, 2011 based on his reading of the Bible, with the End of the WorldTM on October 21, 2011.

  • December 31, 1999—Y2K.This was the apocalypse for the digital age. Since everything is controlled by computer, pundits and experts alike feared elevators would crash, nuclear power plants would explode and planes would fall from the sky. But computers do fail. I actually worked in aerospace companies during the 1980s and heard one story about a programming error on a jet fighter. When this jet crossed the equator, going north to south, supposedly it flipped over and flew upside down. I made sure I wasn't on any airplanes or elevators on the last day of 1999; otherwise I wasn't worried.

  • Mid-September 1994—Judgement Day and the Rapture. Harold Camping, who seems to have been in the business of prognostication for a while, predicted the Rapture and the End of the World(tm) would occur around mid-September 1994 then revised the date to March 31, 1995 when nothing happened.

  • December 31, 1988—Judgement Day and the Rapture. The 1970 best selling book, The Late, Great Planet Earth, by Hal Lindsey, predicted the world would end within a generation of the founding of Israel, more specifically by the end of 1988. He saw the increase of famine and wars as precursors to the Biblical end times.

  • March 10, 1982--The planetary grand alignment—i.e. the Jupiter effect. An alignment of planets in the solar system would create world catastrophe, including a huge earthquake in California. The folks seeking to punish sinners must really dislike California.

  • Early 1970's--California falling into the ocean. It was partly a joke, but I also remember a lot of people took it seriously. I lived in California then and to me it was a game. A former cub scout, I made a survival kit containing matches, rope, aluminum foil, a magnifying glass (to start a fire by focusing the sun's rays on tinder), and a pocket knife—nothing that would help if I were floundering in the ocean, but I packed it all in a waterproof container, anyway.

Although none of these events came to pass, I did experience a somewhat smaller disaster some time ago, on February 9, 1971, when the San Fernando earthquake struck at six in the morning. It was magnitude 6.6, which is large and consequential. At the time I was a kid living in Burbank, very close to the epicenter. I had just woken up and was still lying in bed when the world started shaking and all I could do was hold on to my mattress.

After what seemed like forever, the earthquake stopped and my family gathered in the living room. Half the water had sloshed out of our fish tank. Dishes had flown from the kitchen cupboards and smashed on the floor. Around Southern California some highway overpasses fell and some buildings collapsed. Only 65 people died, but the number of fatalities could have been much higher had the earthquake struck during rush hour.

Afterwards, the tiniest tremor sent me racing for the door. Later that day I stood outside with a friend and felt another aftershock. The sidewalk rippled and I saw a wave roll down the block. When the ground itself shakes, you realize you have nowhere to go.

Why do so many insist the world will end in a bang rather than a whimper? I suppose it’s unsatisfying to think the End of the World(tm) might actually be gradual, almost unnoticeable and in some future we can't touch. Could global warming be the real apocalypse? Within a few generations countless plant and animal species may become extinct. Temperatures will rise; monster hurricanes, rampant tornadoes and lengthy heat waves will become commonplace. The ice caps will melt; the slow lapping of water, rising by only inches a century and inexorably flooding coastal areas, hardly seems worth worrying about compared to California crashing into the ocean.

Robert Frost had something to say about End of the World(tm) in his poem, Fire and Ice:

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire,

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

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